Once again borrowed from Just Another Day (although Gina borrowed this herself . . . )
Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle. Say the following questions aloud, and press play. Use the song title as the answer to the question. NO CHEATING.
How does the world see me?
“Have a Drink on Me” AC/DC
uh-oh.
Will I have a happy life?
“Poor Twisted Me” Metallica
I don’t like the turn this is taking . . .
What do my friends really think of me?
“Dreamer” Studio 30 (my brother and sister-in-law’s former band: click here to hear a sample)
Okay, this one I can live with.
Do people secretly lust after me?
“The Evil that Men Do” Iron Maiden
I’ll take this as a no . . . (damn!)
How can I make myself happy?
“American Idiot” Green Day
Hmmm, does this mean I should take up life as a protester? I certainly “don’t want to be an American Idiot,” and “I’m not part of a redneck agenda.”
What should I do with my life?
“Set Me Free” Velvet Revolver
Another answer I can buy.
What is some good advice for me?
“So Tell Me Why” Poison
Because the exercise said to ask you, oh flash player of wisdom.
How will I be remembered?
“I Saw Red (acoustic version)” Warrant
Ah, come on. I’m not a cheatin’ wench. What gives with these answers?!
What is my signature dancing song?
“Yeah, Baby” Studio 30
The title sounds like a good dance song, doesn’t it? But it’s not – it’s basically a very brief guitar solo. No drums, no real rhythm – and since I can’t dance, probably very appropriate.
What do I think my current theme song is?
“Lucky” Melissa Etheridge
Now this I wholeheartedly agree with!
What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
“I Can’t Dream of You” Studio 30
Well, I am kind of known for getting hung up on things and having a hard time letting go.
What song will play at my funeral?
“You Can Sleep While I Drive” Melissa Etheridge
Okay, I can see this.
What type of men/women do I like?
“The Kid” Peter, Paul & Mary
Younger women?
The song itself is about someone who is a dreamer and doesn’t deal effectively with reality.
I’m not sure which is better.
What is my day going to be like?
“Take the Chance” Peter, Paul & Mary
Okay, I will!
What one thing could I not live without?
“One Time is Never Enough” Studio 30
Lol! Yep.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Sunday, March 19, 2006
“Brought Low by a Common Bug”
It took getting the stomach flu a week and a half after my last chemo to do it. (Or maybe it was a touch of food poisoning, I’m not sure which.) Do what? Something I had not done in five months of chemotherapy: vomit. Yes, TMI, I know. But hey, I’m talking about cancer treatment here, so give me a little leeway. I like how my best friend expressed the irony of my situation:
I’m actually much better now. I first got sick last Tuesday, although there was somewhat of a delayed onset, with full symptoms not appearing until Thursday, the day on which I had a blood test. Of course, I talked to my nurse about my illness before I went in, so she was all set to see me. My white blood count was terrible at 300 (minimum to get chemo is 1500). An antibiotic was prescribed, and I had to call in with symptom updates. When I got worse overnight I though she was going to throw me in the hospital. Fortunately, I improved as Friday wore on, so I avoided being admitted, for which I’m very thankful. The last place you really want to be when your white count is 300 is a germy hospital.
I did learn (or was reminded of) a couple of things from this episode of gastrointestinal distress (I’m big on trying to learn from this stuff, in case you haven’t yet noticed). For starters, anti-nausea drugs that work great on chemo-induced nausea do little to settle other types.
Also, I was reminded that I should be careful what I wish for because I just might get it. In the week following my last treatment, I kept hoping that I could avoid getting a cold, since I had caught colds after my fourth and fifth treatments. And I did avoid getting a cold. Lucky me!
Finally, I was reminded how important my family and friends have been to my recovery from surgery and chemotherapy. On Thursday afternoon, I sent out an email asking for their good thoughts and prayers as I dealt with my stomach problems. By that evening, I had over 20 replies in my inbox, with another half dozen or so coming within the next day. No matter how bad I feel, the love and support of my family and friends does a lot to pick me up again. Thank you!
Dear God, Deb. That's a hell of a note. Your body withstands toxic chemicals for weeks and weeks with only a general malaise and then is brought low by a common bug.
I’m actually much better now. I first got sick last Tuesday, although there was somewhat of a delayed onset, with full symptoms not appearing until Thursday, the day on which I had a blood test. Of course, I talked to my nurse about my illness before I went in, so she was all set to see me. My white blood count was terrible at 300 (minimum to get chemo is 1500). An antibiotic was prescribed, and I had to call in with symptom updates. When I got worse overnight I though she was going to throw me in the hospital. Fortunately, I improved as Friday wore on, so I avoided being admitted, for which I’m very thankful. The last place you really want to be when your white count is 300 is a germy hospital.
I did learn (or was reminded of) a couple of things from this episode of gastrointestinal distress (I’m big on trying to learn from this stuff, in case you haven’t yet noticed). For starters, anti-nausea drugs that work great on chemo-induced nausea do little to settle other types.
Also, I was reminded that I should be careful what I wish for because I just might get it. In the week following my last treatment, I kept hoping that I could avoid getting a cold, since I had caught colds after my fourth and fifth treatments. And I did avoid getting a cold. Lucky me!
Finally, I was reminded how important my family and friends have been to my recovery from surgery and chemotherapy. On Thursday afternoon, I sent out an email asking for their good thoughts and prayers as I dealt with my stomach problems. By that evening, I had over 20 replies in my inbox, with another half dozen or so coming within the next day. No matter how bad I feel, the love and support of my family and friends does a lot to pick me up again. Thank you!
I Hear Music
I have blatantly stolen this idea from one of my favorite bloggers, Gina, who writes Just Another Day. Check out her blog.
In her entry “Crazy Concert Carnivale”, Gina said:
I decided to do the same. The questions are Gina’s; the answers are mine.
How many concerts I have attended: Not nearly as many as most of my friends would guess. About 20.
The concert I am most embarrassed to admit I attended: I was happy to attend every concert I’ve been to, at least at the time of the concert. If I had to pick one, then I have to pick three: Stryper, a Christian hair metal band, which I saw three times. I’m still a fan of the hair metal (go ahead, laugh), but when I think back to the over-the-top costumes and staging of the Stryper concerts, I feel a little sheepish for having been there. Those concerts also have the distinction of being the loudest I’ve ever been to (and that includes two AC/DC concerts).
The most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me at a concert: When I went to see Janis Ian at the Kent Stage a few years ago, I tripped in the lobby – over nothing, as far as I could tell – and sprained my ankle.
Band I have seen the most times in concert: Melissa Etheridge, with five. I skipped her last tour due to a combination of lack of funds and being unimpressed with her Lucky album (I know, that’s tantamount to blasphemy – so take away my lesbian membership card). When she had her bout with breast cancer, I momentarily thought, “Oh shit, what if I don’t get to see her in concert again.” But she is touring again this summer, and I plan to go, even if I have to sit in the cheap seats.
Most entertaining thing I have ever seen at a concert (other than the band): Stryper concerts were always amusing for the audience mix: typical metal dudes and chicks alongside buttoned-down Christian kids. The most entertaining thing I saw at one such concert was a couple of those presumably buttoned-down Christian kids who were seated directly in front of us. Apparently, this couple didn’t get much “alone time.” Through the entire concert, they remained seated, even when the rest of the crowd was on its feet. The boy had his arm around his girlfriend’s shoulder, and his hand was clearly snaked underneath her shirt and inside her bra. Her hands were never visible to us . . .
First concert I ever attended: The Osmonds, circa 1977. (No, I’m not embarrassed by this – I was twelve years old).
Farthest I have ever traveled for a concert: to Akron, about 30 miles away.
Most disappointing concert: Indigo Girls (I think it was the Shaming of the Sun Tour). I can’t quite say why. IG performed well, but it didn’t captivate me the way I thought it would. Of course, it didn’t help that the row of baby dykes behind us kept climbing over us to go buy beer (and then go empty themselves of beer). I’m amazed I didn’t get doused. I was also annoyed that the crowd sang along so loudly that I couldn’t hear IG at times – maybe that was a mixing problem.
Worst thing that ever happened to me at a concert: See entry above for most embarrassing thing.
Best.Concert.Ever.: Peter, Paul & Mary, at Kent State University, May 4, 1995. I applauded so much and so hard that I bruised both my palms.
In her entry “Crazy Concert Carnivale”, Gina said:
Some of the concerts I have been to in the past have been rolling around in my head lately, and I thought I would compile some of them into one post.
I decided to do the same. The questions are Gina’s; the answers are mine.
How many concerts I have attended: Not nearly as many as most of my friends would guess. About 20.
The concert I am most embarrassed to admit I attended: I was happy to attend every concert I’ve been to, at least at the time of the concert. If I had to pick one, then I have to pick three: Stryper, a Christian hair metal band, which I saw three times. I’m still a fan of the hair metal (go ahead, laugh), but when I think back to the over-the-top costumes and staging of the Stryper concerts, I feel a little sheepish for having been there. Those concerts also have the distinction of being the loudest I’ve ever been to (and that includes two AC/DC concerts).
The most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me at a concert: When I went to see Janis Ian at the Kent Stage a few years ago, I tripped in the lobby – over nothing, as far as I could tell – and sprained my ankle.
Band I have seen the most times in concert: Melissa Etheridge, with five. I skipped her last tour due to a combination of lack of funds and being unimpressed with her Lucky album (I know, that’s tantamount to blasphemy – so take away my lesbian membership card). When she had her bout with breast cancer, I momentarily thought, “Oh shit, what if I don’t get to see her in concert again.” But she is touring again this summer, and I plan to go, even if I have to sit in the cheap seats.
Most entertaining thing I have ever seen at a concert (other than the band): Stryper concerts were always amusing for the audience mix: typical metal dudes and chicks alongside buttoned-down Christian kids. The most entertaining thing I saw at one such concert was a couple of those presumably buttoned-down Christian kids who were seated directly in front of us. Apparently, this couple didn’t get much “alone time.” Through the entire concert, they remained seated, even when the rest of the crowd was on its feet. The boy had his arm around his girlfriend’s shoulder, and his hand was clearly snaked underneath her shirt and inside her bra. Her hands were never visible to us . . .
First concert I ever attended: The Osmonds, circa 1977. (No, I’m not embarrassed by this – I was twelve years old).
Farthest I have ever traveled for a concert: to Akron, about 30 miles away.
Most disappointing concert: Indigo Girls (I think it was the Shaming of the Sun Tour). I can’t quite say why. IG performed well, but it didn’t captivate me the way I thought it would. Of course, it didn’t help that the row of baby dykes behind us kept climbing over us to go buy beer (and then go empty themselves of beer). I’m amazed I didn’t get doused. I was also annoyed that the crowd sang along so loudly that I couldn’t hear IG at times – maybe that was a mixing problem.
Worst thing that ever happened to me at a concert: See entry above for most embarrassing thing.
Best.Concert.Ever.: Peter, Paul & Mary, at Kent State University, May 4, 1995. I applauded so much and so hard that I bruised both my palms.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
On To The Next Steps
Last week, I had my final chemotherapy treatment for ovarian cancer. So far, I’ve been laying around and sleeping a lot, as this last dose of cancer-killing agents does its thing, so I haven’t really had a chance to reflect on the significance of this stage in my recovery. I did send out an email to my mail list, and in her reply, my minister said:
My first reaction to her words is to think about my earlier post on “Bravery.” In some ways, I really don’t feel like I’ve done anything all that special, other than follow the doctor’s orders.
On the other hand, though, I do know that I’ve gone through a number of transformations. The most obvious is physical, of course. I no longer have a uterus or cervix or ovaries or fallopian tubes. Or cancer cells. I now have hot flashes and an eight-inch scar up the center of my belly and lingering soreness in my abdomen whenever I try to push myself physically (like undertaking additional household chores).
And there are a lot of emotional changes. Before my surgery, which marked my official diagnosis, there was still the hope that I did not have cancer. Since then, I know that I have had cancer, and I will always have the fear of recurrence with me. Sometimes the fear is rather strong and overwhelming. Most of the time it is just a dull ache in the back of my mind. However, despite that fear, I also have a great deal of hope. My cancer was caught early, unusually early for the type of cancer it is. I have a sense of being given a second chance – not just to continue living, but to live my life in a way that is richer and more true to the ideals I’ve imagined for myself. I’m excited about the possibilities that will open to me in this next phase of my life.
I think that I have also undergone spiritual transformation as well. This is related to the feeling of being given a second chance, but there is more. I feel more grateful for the things that I have. I’ve always enjoyed spending time with my parents, but I really relish it now. I do still get irritated and upset over little things, but the feelings seem to dissipate faster – and if they don’t, I’ve got plenty to remind me that life is too short to cry over spilled milk (or milk leaking out of the blender, as it did yesterday!). I feel that there is some purpose that I am supposed to serve out. I’m not sure what it is, and maybe it is not one big event or thing, but a series of small steps. I’m looking forward to seeing it unfold.
Of course, all these transformations are ongoing. I guess I am just beginning the process of assimilation that my minister mentioned in her email to me. On to the next steps!
You've reached a real milestone. Now you can begin the next phase of recovery – assimilating what all this has meant and where your life is now. What a champ!
My first reaction to her words is to think about my earlier post on “Bravery.” In some ways, I really don’t feel like I’ve done anything all that special, other than follow the doctor’s orders.
On the other hand, though, I do know that I’ve gone through a number of transformations. The most obvious is physical, of course. I no longer have a uterus or cervix or ovaries or fallopian tubes. Or cancer cells. I now have hot flashes and an eight-inch scar up the center of my belly and lingering soreness in my abdomen whenever I try to push myself physically (like undertaking additional household chores).
And there are a lot of emotional changes. Before my surgery, which marked my official diagnosis, there was still the hope that I did not have cancer. Since then, I know that I have had cancer, and I will always have the fear of recurrence with me. Sometimes the fear is rather strong and overwhelming. Most of the time it is just a dull ache in the back of my mind. However, despite that fear, I also have a great deal of hope. My cancer was caught early, unusually early for the type of cancer it is. I have a sense of being given a second chance – not just to continue living, but to live my life in a way that is richer and more true to the ideals I’ve imagined for myself. I’m excited about the possibilities that will open to me in this next phase of my life.
I think that I have also undergone spiritual transformation as well. This is related to the feeling of being given a second chance, but there is more. I feel more grateful for the things that I have. I’ve always enjoyed spending time with my parents, but I really relish it now. I do still get irritated and upset over little things, but the feelings seem to dissipate faster – and if they don’t, I’ve got plenty to remind me that life is too short to cry over spilled milk (or milk leaking out of the blender, as it did yesterday!). I feel that there is some purpose that I am supposed to serve out. I’m not sure what it is, and maybe it is not one big event or thing, but a series of small steps. I’m looking forward to seeing it unfold.
Of course, all these transformations are ongoing. I guess I am just beginning the process of assimilation that my minister mentioned in her email to me. On to the next steps!
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