Today is my two-year flativersary! What does this mean? Two
years ago today, I had a preventative mastectomy because I have a BRCA1
mutation, plus I am a four-time ovarian cancer survivor. I chose to have an aesthetic
flat closure (AFC), which means that I did not have implants or any kind of
breast mound reconstruction.
I have no regrets about my mastectomy. Some folks hear this
and think that I do not ever miss my breasts or that I did not grieve their
loss. Neither is true. I do occasionally miss the “girls,” and I did grieve their
loss. I would have preferred to be born without a BRCA1 gene mutation. But, I
was born with this gene mutation and given that, and my personal cancer history,
I made what I felt, and continue to feel, is the best decision for myself.
I now worry considerably less often and with less intensity
about developing breast cancer. I know it is still possible, but it is much
less probable now. And I don’t miss getting mammograms!
And as far as going flat, I am content with this decision. I
had one surgery and was done. I avoided the risks inherent in implants and flap
surgeries. As I pointed out, no more mammograms. No underboob sweat. No flopping
around when I exercise. And I can cross my arms across my chest really easily
now!
And sure, I have the Buddha belly going on (i.e., my belly
appears especially prominent,as in a statue of a Buddha, because there are no
breasts to help disguise it). But hey, it was there before my mastectomy. It is
just more noticeable now. Sometimes the Buddha belly makes me self-conscious,
but most of the time, I really don’t care what people think.
When I’m in public, does anyone notice my flatness? I
suppose so, but I’m generally not aware of it. Has anyone ever pointed at me or
laughed at me? Yes, it’s happened to me twice. But I’ve been pointed out and laughed
at for being fat nearly all my life. I don’t like it, of course, but again,
mostly, I don’t care. When that happens, I know it says way more about the people
doing the laughing than it does about me.
I believe my life is better for having had my mastectomy and
going flat. I have no regrets and am content with this decision.
So, Happy Flativersary to me! Here’s to celebrating many
more!
