Brief Update

It's been a long time since I last posted an entry. Chemo is over, and I've been slowly moving back into a more "normal" routine. I've returned to work (part-time, but I'm up to about six hours per day now). I'm attending church regularly. I'm feeling progressively stronger.

And, I've been neglecting my blog. But, I am going to try to rectify that. I'm not promising posts every day (it is called "The Occasional Word," after all). But I do plan to write a little more often, and also to reassemble my website and get that back online.

So, Happy New Year (so what if it is already the second month!). Here is to new creative endeavors in 2008!

The Post-Chemo Jitters

Ah, gotta love ‘em – the post-chemo jitters, which I’m pretty sure are chemo-induced. I have them for the first several days after every treatment. They are the worst after the carboplatin/Gemzar cocktail, but the Gemzar by itself sets them off, too.

Since I’m already prone to anxiety (can you say PTSD?), I find this jumpiness extra disconcerting. I find it hard to concentrate on much of anything, especially reading. I’ve been watching a lot of TV, although I have been getting bored with it.

Fortunately, the jitters are fading a bit today, and I think I’ll feel even better tomorrow.

I have one more cycle (i.e., two more treatments) of chemo to go! I’m looking forward to getting back to a normal routine, such as going back to work and attending church more regularly. Of course, I’m also worried about my PTSD reemerging (the other type of post-chemo jitters), but this time I know that this type of reaction is both possible and normal, and I have supports in place to deal with it.

Feeling Less Than Optimal (but still an improvement over the previous week)

The last seven to ten days have been a struggle. I've been having trouble with nausea from chemo. Just when I started to feel better, I had to have chemo again (yesterday). This was the shorter one, and they gave me a stronger anti-nausea drug prior to the Gemzar. I've also altered the anti-nausea drugs I'm taking at home. So although I’m feeling less than optimal, I'm still feeling better than I have.

I continue to experience flu-like symptoms such as muscle aches and extreme tiredness. I had a day or two reprieve from that earlier in the week, but today, I took a three hour nap (this after sleeping from about 10 last night to 9 this morning).

I have to admit, I’ve been a bit down emotionally, with the nausea and tiredness and all. I was really down on Wednesday, because I knew I had chemo on Thursday, and I was just starting to feel better physically. My mood is better today, mostly because the nausea is better under control. And I’m trying to keep in my mind that next week is my week off from chemo, so I’ll be able to enjoy some days when I feel pretty good

Feeling Normal

I am happy to report that I am feeling much better than I did when I wrote the previous blog entry. The nausea went away and I’m feeling stronger. I was even able to go out by myself for awhile yesterday.

This is my week off from chemo, so I am looking forward to living a relatively normal life. I’ll still sleep more than I normally do. I’ll still have to rest periodically throughout the day. But I’m not likely to need any naps, unless I attempt something really strenuous. And I should be able to eat more or less normally.

I have not been back to work since my surgery. Part of me really wants to return to work, because being at work makes me feel more normal (there’s that word again). During my last round of chemo, I was able to work part-time. For every three week cycle, I was able to work for about a week and a half, for about four or five hours per day. At that time, being at work reminded me that I am an adult, a contributing member of society.

This time, however, my chemo cycle is set up differently: I get treatment two weeks out of three. So far, week one of the cycle knocks me back a good week; week two, nearly as long. So I’m looking at, maybe, a week of work out of every three. And the effects of chemo tend to be cumulative, so that window may very well shrink by cycles five and six. I miss my friends at work, and I miss feeling useful (and yes, I miss my paycheck). But returning to work during chemo may not be a realistic option.

More than you want to know about post-chemo symptoms

The following was originally written on Monday, July 30, 2007.

It has been a rough week. I started out feeling weak and achy from chemo. I finally started to feel a bit better, and of course, it was time for more chemo.

This last treatment was just the Gemzar. By itself, Gemzar does not usually cause nausea, but tell that to my stomach.

TMI WARNING: avert your eyes if you don’t want to read about the details of a cancer-patient’s life.

On Thursday evening, after treatment that afternoon, I vomited. Never before has chemo made me do that. It was awful, like one of my worst fears coming true. I was so afraid that once I started, I wouldn’t be able to stop. Fortunately, more Compazine did bring relief. Nevertheless, it was one of the most frightening times of my chemo career.

As you might expect, my diet has been extremely limited since Thursday. The first two days I stuck with chicken soup, Gatorade, popsicles, and water.

Oh yeah, and in the middle of all this, some uncomfortable symptoms led me to believe that I might have a UTI. So I had to make yet another trek to Fairview to give a urine sample. Turns out I have a bladder infection.

So it has been just a barrel of fun here.