I am so very tired. This is so reminiscent of having the flu. Exhaustion, muscle aches.
Actually getting treatment is a mixed bag. I have a medi-port this time, so hooking into my vascular system is a breeze. On the other hand, during the last set, one of my pre-meds was Benadryl, which made me relaxed and groggy, and made the first couple hours of the infusion go really quickly. Once the IV was started, I kinda liked getting the chemo.
I think for this go-around with chemo, I am dreading treatment more, because I know how I will feel afterward. And overall, I’d have to say that I feel worse this time. Last time, I think I was more wiped out. While I am plenty tired this time, I think I am more achy.
And even though I know that these days shall pass, I am frustrated and afraid that they won’t. I’m also resentful that I have to go for treatment two weeks in a row. I’m pretty sure it is the Gemzar that is affecting me more, and it is the Gemzar I get twice in a row.
What is equally maddening is that I am having trouble falling and staying asleep.
I can’t think of any grand lessons I’ve learned so far. Maybe some will come to me when I am in my “off” week. But I’m sure I’m learning something.
1 comment:
Interesting that you said "Once the IV was started, I kinda liked getting the chemo" maybe it is the feeling that you are actively doing something about the cancer. The flu-like feeling helps me understand. When I have the flu, I think that this terrible achyness and general bad feeling will just go on forever. I can say the it will get better in a week or so but I sure can't even imagine feeling better.
Thanks for the thoughts and remember, you don't have to wait for the "grand lessons" to tell us what you are thinking. Sometimes the fleeting thoughts are just as interesting. Think about the characters in novels that you have read. It is interesting to hear what they are thinking as they go about their ordinary activities. So, your are the main character is this drama, what is going on in your mind? What do you think that other people are thinking? Give us a little window and let us peek at the stuff going in in there.
Post a Comment